Eli's Rehab Report

The Do's And Don'ts of Listening

Do’s:

Clear your schedule and make time to listen to the person.

 Ask the other person if it’s a good time to talk.
 Listen with understanding rather than being critical or judgmental.
 Make eye contact with the speaker.
 Face the other person and display an open, relaxed posture.
 Make your mind a blank slate. Don’t think about other things while listening.
 Be patient.
 Acknowledge the speaker by nodding your head, leaning forward and displaying appropriate facial expressions, as well as vocally acknowledging the person.
 Intermittently summarize or mirror back what the person is saying
 Invite the speaker to say more.
 Smile and look genuinely interested.
 Be alert and attentive.
 Be emotionally neutral.
 Listen with openness and objectivity.
 Positively reinforce the speaker’s ideas and actions.
 Be interested in the speaker’s needs.
 Use time lag in a productive manner.
 Resist external distractions.
 Pay attention to nonverbal communication and body language.
 Listen between the lines for hidden meanings.
 Use supportive and emotionally neutral language.
 Evaluate the content of the conversation, not the speaker’s delivery.
 Practice effective listening.

Don’ts:

 Don’t interrupt.
 Don’t speak, except to acknowledge, summarize, or mirror back.
 Don’t take the subject in another direction. Let the person speaking lead the direction of the conversation.
 Don’t daydream.
 Don’t be distracted.
 Don’t multi-task.
 Don’t interrogate.
 Don’t preach.
 Don’t give advice.
 Don’t blame or attack.
 Don’t be defensive.
 Don’t use threatening or emotionally-laden negative language.
 Don’t try to get the upper hand.
 Don’t critique the speaker.